[00:00:00] Brianne Jenner: You know, a team that shared the puck better than any team I've been on broke all these individual records. Like the sport just teaches us those lessons and sometimes it's so obvious. It's like, of course, you know, that's how you create the most success.
[00:00:22] Rob Pintwala: Welcome to Actualize a podcast focused on the intersection of performance, ambition, and mental health. I'm Rob Pen, and I'm joined by my co-host Kim Foster Yardley. Rather than
[00:00:36] Kim Foster Yardley: fixate on the wins and successes, our mission is to uncover the whole picture of the human being behind the performance. Join us as we interview top performers across business, sport, and the arts.
[00:00:51] Rob Pintwala: Actualize is presented by first session. Have you ever considered trying therapy or simply just wanna level up in your personal or professional life? I started first session back in 2019 to help Canadians find the right mental health professional for them. Since then, we've connected thousands of Canadians with the right therapist.
[00:01:09] Rob Pintwala: And I'm really passionate about helping each individual find the right fit in the therapist for them. We spend hours and hours interviewing therapists across Canada, and each one of them has a professional video for you to take a look at while you decide who might be the right fit for you. Check us out@firstsession.com.
[00:01:27] Kim Foster Yardley: Actualize is also presented by the Mental Game Clinic. The Mental Game Clinic was founded by myself, Kim Foster Yardley. I combined my 20 years of experience as a clinical psychologist with my passion for sports psychology, and I built a team of therapists who specialize in working with high performers, Olympians and founders find us @thementalgame.me.
[00:01:58] Rob Pintwala: Today's guest is Brianne Jenner. Brianne's, a three-time Olympian with the Canadian Women's Hockey Team. She's won two Olympic Golds and won silver and was named the Beijing 2022 Olympic Tournament mvp, tying the record for most gold scored at an Olympic tournament. It was clear in this conversation that Brianne is a true leader and competitor.
[00:02:18] Rob Pintwala: Her wisdom shines through, and it was also clear that Brianne truly cares about her teammates. Both on and off the ice. Just a warning, we experienced a few internet challenges during this conversation, so there may be a few cuts, but the content was too good not to keep. We hope you'll enjoy Brianne Jenner.
[00:02:34] Kim Foster Yardley: So Brianne, I wanted to know which of those mental skills do you think are the most important that you've identified nine, this latest stage of your career.
[00:02:45] Brianne Jenner: Well, I think it's, it's really personal. I know for me, um, I have a busy brain. And I'm really analytical and so to perform at my best, which what I've just kind of discovered is when I make the best plays or I'm kind of in that flow state that athletes are always trying to chase, or any top performer doesn't have to be an athlete.
[00:03:07] Brianne Jenner: My brain is off in a way. Right? I, I'm, you know, part of my brain is turned on that, that kind of subconscious, um, that, uh, autopilot that I've built three years and years of training. So for me getting to that place, I have to sort of consciously use some tools to make sure that I'm quieting my brain down when it comes to performance time.
[00:03:27] Brianne Jenner: And kind of letting, letting it rest and, and not analyze. So, you know, I've worked with mental performance coaches on, on different sort of distraction tools in the middle of the game. Different, you know, breathing processes, um, different ways I can kind of reset my focus cuz that's been a big piece for me is just sort of quieting that brain.
[00:03:45] Brianne Jenner: And then, you know, when the game is over, the practice is over, then it's the time to kind of turn it back on and, and use that analytical side, um, in a positive way.
[00:03:56] Rob Pintwala: That's amazing. So interesting. Like, is it, is it, uh, a lot of the stuff just like mid-game that you're, that you're like kind of going inward?
[00:04:05] Rob Pintwala: Is that like, what does that actually look like for you?
[00:04:09] Brianne Jenner: For me, like the way that it would present often and it's just in Yeah. In the middle of the game, like hockey's unique because you, you, you sit down. You know, you go out there for 30, 45 seconds and then you sit down and you, you think about that mistake, you know, and it's that ability for me that I've tried to train to kind of let go of that mess mistake.
[00:04:28] Brianne Jenner: Um, not two or three shifts later, or not a day after processing the game, but immediately, um, It's kind of like that, that scene from Ted Lasso, if you guys have, have watched that show where they say, they talk about the goldfish and the ten second memory and goldfish are the happiest animals, right?
[00:04:45] Brianne Jenner: Because of that. Um, so that's sort of a skill that I've tried to kind of become better and better at is recognizing, okay, I'm, I'm focusing on something that happened in the last shift or the last period and that's not helping me for what's to come next. And I think obviously that's sort of a microcosm of an issue that we all deal with maybe in a, in a.
[00:05:06] Brianne Jenner: In different ways in our lives, but it's, it's something that, you know, in the moment in performances that I've had to work on, is making sure that I can process those things in, in, you know, seconds rather than minutes or hours.
[00:05:20] Rob Pintwala: That's awesome. Yeah. I think if, from my experience, like I hear when you hear interviews of professional athletes, so many of them are like visibly so hard on themselves.
[00:05:32] Rob Pintwala: And they, like even will say like, you know, I'm the hardest person on myself, like, harder than the coach, harder than my parents. Um, was that also, can you identify with that and has part of this, um, sort of training been to kind of evolve like out of that? Or are you, how do you hold that in balance?
[00:05:55] Brianne Jenner: Yeah, I think that's really true and I think it's.
[00:05:59] Brianne Jenner: It's something I could definitely relate to. I think for me, what I've tried to do is, is manage when I allow myself to do that, um, you know, in the middle of a performance is not the time to be hard on yourself. It's the time to kind of honestly say to yourself that you're superhuman, like inflate your own ego.
[00:06:20] Brianne Jenner: Um, we, we, I remember reading this really interesting, um, Book written by a golfer. Um, I think it's called the Championship Mindset or How Champions Think. We read it as a team and, and one of the quotes was, um, a golfer was asked, you know, about a three put in a tournament and he said, I've never, three put in my life, which is obviously not the truth, but it sort of gets at that idea that, you know, while you're performing, when you're in that space, you need to 100% believe in yourself and just fill your brain with positive thoughts.
[00:06:54] Brianne Jenner: And of course I think it's really, really useful as an athlete to, to be hard on yourself and to constantly be looking for ways to improve. And it's, it's sort of managing when you do that. Uh, and for me it's, you know, a training day or after a practice or, or, you know, watching video after a game. But, but certainly I've discovered it's not useful to do in the middle of a game.
[00:07:20] Rob Pintwala: That's great insight. Yeah. Kim, do you have any. More questions about those trainings? Yeah, because I
[00:07:27] Kim Foster Yardley: was just thinking like, it must have been quite challenging to develop these skills. Um, I, I just, I, I often hear people saying it's just having to overcome these automatic habits, like what helps you to switch it off and what, and was
[00:07:48] Brianne Jenner: it hard for you
[00:07:48] Kim Foster Yardley: or.
[00:07:50] Kim Foster Yardley: Like, what was the process, process like of learning the skill?
[00:07:54] Brianne Jenner: Well, I'm still in the process for sure. Um, like I haven't nailed it. I, I've gotten better, but, you know, there's still times where I'll catch myself going down that, um, that thought process. We call it the hamster wheel on our team, right? The, the hamster starts going and it's hard to get it off the wheel.
[00:08:13] Brianne Jenner: Um, but I think part of it, Has just been, you know, the introduction of the, the tools that I talked about and kind of just checking in. Um, you know, I've, I've, I've done journaling. Um, I've had, you know, conversations with a mental performance coach and just kind of coming back to it, you know, h you know, not, not grading myself, but sort of checking in how, how was I in that last event, that last tournament?
[00:08:38] Brianne Jenner: Um, did I make use of. You know, the plan that I had in place. Um, but I, but I wouldn't say that I'm a master at it. I think I'm still working at it. Um, and it's still a focus and it's an, it's an ongoing process. I think it'd be really hard to, every single time you have a negative train of thought. Catch it right away.
[00:09:01] Brianne Jenner: Right. We're, we're human and, and naturally your brain is, is wired to alert you to those things. I just,
[00:09:09] Kim Foster Yardley: I love how you're saying that there's, uh, there's two sides, right? So there's the, the self-doubt and the questioning and the reviewing, which can be good at times and not at others. But then speaking about the confidence as well, what helps, what are your sources of confidence?
[00:09:24] Kim Foster Yardley: What, what gives you that? Superhuman
[00:09:27] Brianne Jenner: sense of yourself? Hmm, hmm. I think finding regular confidence is probably the most universal challenge for elite athletes. I, I, I, I can't think of a teammate who hasn't at one point or another, um, you know, grappled with that, you know, keeping confidence consistently. I think for me, you know, the times I'm feeling most confident, I, I usually look back at past experiences.
[00:09:56] Brianne Jenner: And say, you know, you've either you've been through this before or you can, you have the ability to do this. And sort of just kind of remind myself of the times that I've worked through those challenges. Um, and I think that's, you know, one of the big bonuses of, you know, going through adversity early in your career, going through setbacks.
[00:10:15] Brianne Jenner: Um, I always say to young athletes it's, it's pretty much inevitable that you're gonna have some setbacks. They'll may look different than than other people's, but. For me, those are a big source of, of confidence and of strength, um, having gone through that and learned from that. Um, so for me, I always, when I'm feeling confident, um, you know, I, I trust in what I've done in the past and I also trust in the preparation I've put in.
[00:10:43] Brianne Jenner: I think if you don't put in that preparation, that's sort of the first way that. Eats away at your confidence, the first thing to peel your confidence back if you know that you've maybe taken shortcuts in your process. Mm-hmm. I mean,
[00:10:54] Kim Foster Yardley: I, I have two thoughts to
[00:10:55] Brianne Jenner: that. The one is
[00:10:57] Kim Foster Yardley: how, um, confidence really does come from preparation and from practice, from having experiences and building on them.
[00:11:06] Kim Foster Yardley: Um, but. The other piece of what you said that I thought was so important was that you also build confidence that it's not like an absolute, that confidence is an absolute and that there can be times where you, you struggle a bit more with confidence and other times where it's actually improved. So it's like a zero sum game
[00:11:32] Brianne Jenner: for sure.
[00:11:33] Brianne Jenner: I think there's, there's. Sometimes where you're just, you're feeling great, you're not even thinking about it. And then it's, there's sometimes where that self-doubt creeps in and you have to kind of go back to your, your mental training on it and, and start to draw upon those things that I was just talking about.
[00:11:50] Brianne Jenner: Those past experiences, what you've been through, um, your preparation. Um, but yeah, there's times I think it's, it's always kind of flowing. There's times where you're not even thinking about that. You're just feeling it. And I think
[00:12:03] Kim Foster Yardley: what you also said about changing your relationship with adversity, cause I think often we are afraid of failure, and I think that's quite natural, right?
[00:12:10] Kim Foster Yardley: Like to be afraid of missing up, doing the wrong thing, but yet there's so much we can learn and grow through that experience.
[00:12:20] Brianne Jenner: For sure. I think those are, I mean, when you think of. What we fear, you know, going into a competition or just going into any situation. It's, you know, fear of failure, fear of being judged by others.
[00:12:34] Brianne Jenner: And it's sort of when you acknowledge that, okay, those fears are there, they're gonna be a part of any process that I go through, especially if I care about the outcome. Right? And just kind of acknowledging that I know that's something that. I've started to do a lot more. Um, it's just understand, okay, I, I have these, these nerves, I have this fear of not winning this game of, um, maybe not playing up to my potential, um, you know, not representing my family as, you know, as well as I want to, or my team as well as I want to.
[00:13:04] Brianne Jenner: And it's, instead of looking at those as negative emotions, I, you know, you take it as a sign that, okay, you're doing something that you really care about. And you're really bought in on this. And so these are, this is just good adrenaline. I love
[00:13:19] Kim Foster Yardley: that. I love that cuz like so much of our work is around helping clients to change their relationship with stress and to see how much they care.
[00:13:27] Kim Foster Yardley: And the answer is not to care less. Right. It's actually to feel good about the fact that you care about something. Mm-hmm. You want to care about what we do. That's why we love it, right? Yeah, for sure.
[00:13:40] Rob Pintwala: Brand, you, me, you mentioned that. Setbacks are inevitable. What have been some of your most challenging setbacks and how did you, how did you face them and what'd you learn?
[00:13:56] Brianne Jenner: Well, like a lot of athletes, um, some of the major ones have been injuries. Um, I think one of the, the toughest injuries I had, um, I was following my first Olympics in, in 2014. I went into that off season and, um, started to have, I guess you would describe as an, an overuse injury. Um, I wish, I wish it had just been, you know, a broken bone or something that was easy to kind of diagnose.
[00:14:25] Brianne Jenner: Cuz when you, I always find that the toughest thing with injuries is when you don't know, when you don't have a plan, right. When there's a lot of unknowns. I think as athletes we function so well when there's. Okay, here's your physio plan. It's gonna take you three months. And then this is, you know, the possible outcome.
[00:14:40] Brianne Jenner: Um, for me, this one was challenging cause it took me a couple seasons of kind of just playing through pain and seeing a lot of different, um, practitioners and kind of finally being able to figure out what, what it was and what my body needed. And, you know, when I was going through it, um, it, I was miserable at times.
[00:15:05] Brianne Jenner: Um, and it's so funny because like you, you, no one can tell you when you're in the middle of those moments, in those, in those downs that like, it's gonna be a good thing. It's so hard to see that when you're at the, in the valley, right? But coming outta that, I learned so much about my body, you know, the prehab exercises I needed, what I needed to, to do in training to manage things.
[00:15:29] Brianne Jenner: Um, and I learned so much that I. At my healthiest now, you know, in my thirties, healthier than I was in my twenties, feeling better on the ice than in my twenties. And I think, you know, knock on wood, that injury might be a, a big reason that I can continue to play for years and years and, and have that longevity.
[00:15:49] Brianne Jenner: And so it was coming back to that kind of notion of setbacks being some of the greatest things that happened to us. It for sure was. And if you had asked me that while I was in the middle of it, I would've. You know, yelled at you, probably or rolled my eyes or something like that. So that was a, a big one for me.
[00:16:09] Brianne Jenner: I mean, I also, a lot of the stereotypical athlete setbacks, I was cut from the first Olympics I tried out for, um, devastated. Mm-hmm. Knew exactly from that process what I needed to do to make the next one. Um, you know, I was, Part of a team Canada that had the longest gold medal drought, um, which is still, you know, tough to, to kind of swallow.
[00:16:34] Brianne Jenner: But from that we, we had a major cultural change. We revamped our program from inside our locker room or our, our coaches, everyone in involved in our staff. And we have a culture now that every one of us is extremely proud of coming out of what was a really dark time for our program. Um, So those are just a few.
[00:16:57] Brianne Jenner: Uh, there's, there's lots of small ones along the way, but those are just a few and honestly wouldn't change any of them. I'm
[00:17:05] Rob Pintwala: curious about the, what you just said about, you know, revamping the culture. Uh, I mean, when I look at. As a, you know, pretty much a single sport Canadian myself, just, who cares about hockey?
[00:17:20] Rob Pintwala: Um, I just think of the Canadian women's team as just like, it, there's so much expectation that you, you're gonna win. Like, it's like, you know, it's like, okay, you have to win. Like our, our women's team has to win. Like, do you feel that at all? Um, and maybe people like me are making that worse pressure. Um,
[00:17:42] Brianne Jenner: Yeah, we feel that.
[00:17:43] Brianne Jenner: Um, but that's what, that's what we want. I mean, when you are a little girl and you're dreaming about playing for Team Canada, you're dreaming about playing for gold, and that's the pressure that we want on ourselves. So I think it's something that we embrace. We have, you know, we don't have any different expectations than Canadians.
[00:18:01] Brianne Jenner: We have. You know, we expect, um, to win every competition that we go into. That's our goal. And obviously, you know, the pressure's enormous when you're playing at Olympic games, but boy, that's exciting. That's the dream, right?
[00:18:17] Rob Pintwala: Yeah. And I, I am curious also about the cultural shift. I mean, before when you were speaking about, uh, you mentioned like the hamster wheel saying, and you say like, we call it the hamster wheel on the team.
[00:18:29] Rob Pintwala: Like, um, I've never played on a Olympic team before. I'm curious about like, the culture of the team. Like how, how do you support one another? Like are you talking about. The mental game, the physical game, like all together. Uh, I know you're one of the leaders on the team now, like how do you think about the culture?
[00:18:51] Brianne Jenner: Well, I think there's a, there's a lot of kind of cornerstones to our culture that we set up in the last couple years that, you know, culture's a living, breathing thing, so we have to continue to work on and continue to maintain. But, um, you know, supporting each other is a big. Pillar within that. Um, I've never played on a team that's, you know, more excited for each other's success.
[00:19:15] Brianne Jenner: And that doesn't mean that we're not, you know, pushing each other on the ice and competing. Um, I can guarantee you a, are sometimes the, the net front rattles and practice are harder than in games for sure. But that's a, a big piece, um, communication. Amongst our group is, is a, a huge piece of that as well.
[00:19:36] Brianne Jenner: Making sure that we're communicating with our staff and, um, having difficult conversations, which is I think one of the toughest things for organizations to routinely do. It's something that we have to continue to do. Um,
[00:19:53] Brianne Jenner: I think the other piece for us was, And something that we really focused on in the 2022 Olympic year was making sure that new members of our team felt safe to make mistakes. So we, we tried to create a psychologically safe environment as the way we put it, um, where people felt that they could kind of bring them their whole selves to, to work the whole selves to the dressing room and not feel like a mistake would, would make or break them.
[00:20:25] Brianne Jenner: And I think that's super important in a sport where, you know, hockey's a science, but it's also an art. You gotta play free, you gotta play creative. You gotta, you know, be in that, that flow state that I talked about. And then the other piece was, was making sure that. Everyone feels like they have an opportunity to, to lead, and everyone, you know, brings something important to the table.
[00:20:46] Brianne Jenner: Um, that's something we wanted to instill in, in our rookies in that Olympic year that, you know, it could be your first tournament, international tournament, it could be your seventh. Um, but we wanted everyone's voice to be heard. So those are some of the pillars that we, you know, worked on. And I think if you ask anyone on our team, we did a, a pretty good job, um, building into our culture.
[00:21:08] Brianne Jenner: But like I said, there's. It's a living, breathing thing. So we have to make sure that we're kind of fostering at every event we go to. Um, you know, even right now when we're apart, we just finished the world championships, but we're apart for a couple weeks. It's, you know, we still have those moments to check in with each other.
[00:21:26] Brianne Jenner: Um, you know, it's, it's, it's takes constant work I think, cuz it's not easy to establish and it's, you know, like they say about trust, it's easy for it to just, Disappear. So it's something that we have to continue to work on.
[00:21:42] Kim Foster Yardley: And in your, in your role, uh, in the, in your leadership role in the team, like what do you think has been important for you to help to foster that psychological safety?
[00:21:52] Kim Foster Yardley: And what if, what do you think, or some of what you've done to show those new members
[00:21:58] Brianne Jenner: that it's okay to make mistakes?
[00:22:05] Brianne Jenner: Well, one of the things that I think I learned about myself as a leader, um, and I guess one of the things that I focused on, um, in, in my own leadership was making sure that I did the work to get to know teammates, not as hockey players, but as people. Um, because, you know, naturally everyone has their own sort of style of leadership, and I don't think naturally I'm the most, um, approachable.
[00:22:35] Brianne Jenner: I would say I, I, I'm, I'm not mean or anything. It's just, um, you know, there's people that when you walk in a room right, they just make everyone feel at home. Like, you know, that style of leadership, I, that doesn't come natural to me. So I, I kind of needed to build a plan to make sure that I was connecting with all those teammates, especially the ones that, you know, I didn't know on a personal level yet.
[00:22:58] Brianne Jenner: So that was something that I, I, I kind of just always had a checklist at different of. Camps and different events throughout the year, like making sure that I connected with people and, and had conversations with people and just touchpoints. Um, because I really think, you know, people, what there's a saying for it's people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
[00:23:23] Brianne Jenner: I think that's what it is. And I, I, I think that's so true. If you're, you know, you want people to feel safe, um, They gotta know that you care about them as a person. They, that you generally wanna see them succeed and it's not for some, some game or some alt ulterior motive. So that was a big focus for me was just, um, having those conversations so that, you know, when I did approach a, a young player and, you know, welcome into a role, or we needed them to do something big, they weren't like, who is this player?
[00:23:57] Brianne Jenner: You know, I, I don't know you, who is like, what are you trying to do here? So that was a big focal point for me. Mm-hmm.
[00:24:06] Rob Pintwala: Curious, do you feel that you approach your life outside of hockey with the same like, rigor and focus as you do at work?
[00:24:19] Brianne Jenner: Hmm, that's a really great question. I've never been asked that. Um, I like to think that I do, but I, I think.
[00:24:27] Brianne Jenner: You know, sometimes the lessons that I've learned in, you know, the professional workspace of being, being a part of a team like Team Canada, um, sometimes I forget to use those same tools at home. I, you know, my wife would probably say that I need more of the patience that I have for my, for my teammates, um, as I do for her.
[00:24:47] Brianne Jenner: But I think, I think the education that I've received, Um, in terms of teamwork and culture and, and, you know, mental performance, I think it definitely translated, it. It, it can only help me in, in my personal life and personal goals and definitely translates. Um, for the most part, I think, I think I, you know, could, could be better in probably all areas of life as well.
[00:25:15] Rob Pintwala: We all could, uh, So, yeah, you've, you've been participated in three Olympics. Sounds like you were super close to even the fir the first one that you, um, didn't, didn't make the team for, um, but you've won two golds and won silver at the Olympics. And, um, recently were the tournaments like was a 2022 most valuable player.
[00:25:41] Rob Pintwala: You just had a record for how many goals or points were scored. Goals. I think that would, yeah, somehow goals. Nice. Uh, credible.
[00:25:52] Kim Foster Yardley: Why does
[00:25:52] Brianne Jenner: somehow,
[00:25:57] Brianne Jenner: yeah, it's just crazy to me. I, I guess like a stat like that, it just seems like you've done something like so superhuman or great, but really it's just being, uh, You know, a solid forward on a team that moved the puck so well, like, it's so interesting in that, in that tournament we, the team set a bunch of records and this is sort of like the poetry of sport.
[00:26:27] Brianne Jenner: It was, you know, a team that shared the puck better than any team I've been on and then broke all these individual records. Like the sport just teaches us those lessons. And sometimes it's so obvious it's like this was the most unselfish team and. Of course, you know, that's how you create the most success.
[00:26:45] Brianne Jenner: So it's just interesting. So I don't, it, it feels weird, um, when you say a stat like that because it was just sort of just a byproduct of the greatest team. Wow,
[00:26:57] Kim Foster Yardley: that's so inspiring. It really makes you feel like you stand
[00:27:01] Brianne Jenner: on each other's shoulders For sure. I mean, they don't talk about, you know, that was my role.
[00:27:08] Brianne Jenner: I, you know, I was playing. On, on a line with, you know, very offensive players. Um, that was, that was our role, was to score goals. But they never talk about the players whose role was to pk right. Or to block shots. So we get that in our locker room. Um, I wish the media got that more, but, hey, goals are fun, so that's why we pay attention to it.
[00:27:30] Rob Pintwala: No kidding. I was literally just thinking that they, they single out stats, like goals and, yeah. Uh, I just, from the way you're speaking, I could tell that the culture on the team is like incredible. Um, yeah, it is really rubbing off. Um, at the beginning of this conversation, you kind of already almost joked about, you know, retirement, uh, being somewhere on the horizon, but you also said that, you know, you're, your, uh, physical fitness right now is great and in your thirties and, and better than your twenties even.
[00:28:03] Rob Pintwala: Um, You know, it sounds like the retirement's some ways off. Um, but how, how do you think about, you know, what's next for you? Um, and is there any such thing as like preparation, um, for the next step, or is it just pure focus on, you know, the next tournament, the next performance, next practice?
[00:28:30] Brianne Jenner: All I think, Because of the landscape of women's professional hockey. Um, what comes after our playing career is something that unfortunately we've all had to think about since the outset of our careers. Um, you know, most women's hockey players go to university, um, to get a degree and, and that's, you know, play NCAA or U sport hockey.
[00:28:53] Brianne Jenner: Um, You know, most of my peers have have done a master's. I've done a master's. Um, most of my peers do some work outside just playing. So it's something that I've definitely thought about and, and considered. Um, but the, the main focus right now remains on, on the playing career.
[00:29:14] Rob Pintwala: I wanna finish, I, I, I want to spend the last few minutes about, um, yeah, just a little bit more about your personal life.
[00:29:21] Rob Pintwala: So, How has motherhood been, and was it about a year and a half ago that became
[00:29:28] Brianne Jenner: a mother? Yeah. Um, September of 2021. Um, yeah, so a, a little over a year and a half ago, and it's been, uh, it's, it's just the greatest joy in my life. It's. So much perspective. You think you have perspective and then you have a kid and it just, um, changes things.
[00:29:49] Brianne Jenner: So it's, yeah, it's been, it's been an amazing journey. Has it changed
[00:29:53] Kim Foster Yardley: at all how you approach your sport
[00:29:55] Brianne Jenner: in work life? Well, I think, um, because of the demands of parenting, you kinda leave your work at work and you kind of also have that perspective of, okay, um, It's just hockey, you know, as much as passionate as I am about it, and, you know, the fact that we're role models and all those important things, but at the end of the day, it is, it is hockey and, um, when you get home and you have a, a kid to, to take care of and, uh, you know, chase around the house and you kind of, it allows you to, to disconnect, which I think is a really healthy thing too, um, is, is to leave, you know, the stresses of.
[00:30:35] Brianne Jenner: Of hockey and performance and just allow your brain to focus on something else. I think it's, it's been, um, a benefit to my career, even though I had a lot less sleep. I think I've gained a lot of other, um, positives and I feel like it's made me a better hockey player.
[00:30:52] Rob Pintwala: Yeah, I, I can relate to the less sleep part.
[00:30:54] Rob Pintwala: Um, I bet our, our, our children are probably around the same age. Actually mine's about 18 months old. Um, And, uh, how, how have you find, how, how are you finding, like, you know, being away at tournaments and having like, such, you know, high commitments with your team, um, h h how does that affect, you know, being a mom and being in your, you know, with, with your partner and sharing those responsibilities?
[00:31:22] Rob Pintwala: As, you know, as parents,
[00:31:25] Brianne Jenner: that was definitely the hardest part about, um, The Beijing Olympic year because, you know, the pandemic had me, you know, we were in bubbled, um, world championships. Um, we were in quarantine a lot of the time leading up to the Olympics. So that was definitely the hardest part of, of that whole season for me was, and I was away from my daughter for, I think it was like, 50 something days, um, for the Olympics and then just even this, you know, past world championship in Denmark in 2022, it was 35 days.
[00:32:01] Brianne Jenner: So, um, You know, I know that there's parents that are away from their kids longer in different lines of work, but that was definitely the biggest challenge for me was, um, you know, a little bit of that guilt of, of being away. Um, but we, I was extremely lucky, um, in, in. My wife and how much of a rock she was.
[00:32:21] Brianne Jenner: But also in the support network we have, um, we have, you know, four grandparents that are, um, very involved and, uh, very loving and, and willing to help. And, you know, I wouldn't have been, that year wouldn't have been possible without that support network.
[00:32:37] Rob Pintwala: I love, love to hear that. Yeah. That, that must be very, very difficult being away for that long.
[00:32:43] Rob Pintwala: Uh, not only missing your child, but yeah. The other emotions associated with not being able to contribute. Um, and, you know, how, how are you hoping to sort of, you know, raise your, raise your child in, in this world? Like are, you know, we've, Kim and I have had other conversations with other guests around, you know, the real conversations that people have, you know, these days about.
[00:33:07] Rob Pintwala: Having children and how, like it's 2023 right now and you know, culturally there's a lot of issues and, you know, there's existential threats and everything. I don't know, maybe I'm, uh, causing too much anxiety here. But like, do you, do you think about a, a world, uh, that you, that you wanna be, you know, bringing your, your child into and how like you can influence that or.
[00:33:32] Rob Pintwala: Are you a little bit
[00:33:33] Brianne Jenner: more last, say fair? I, no. I think about it. Do I have answers? No, I, I feel like I don't have it figured out. And if you have any, uh, insights, Rob, I'm, I'm open to them, but I think, yeah, I, I feel, I feel like one of the things I've learned with parenting is like I, it, it's really kept me in the present.
[00:33:55] Brianne Jenner: Um, just, you know, you, you have to be focused so, Intently on what they're doing and the stage that they're at. And it's like, um, it's hard to look a day down the line, let alone months down the line. So I think, um, have I focused on those anxiety inducing problems that much? Probably, probably is not as, not as much as I should.
[00:34:19] Brianne Jenner: Um, but I do definitely, it, it influences my decisions in. Well, all my decisions, I think I, I, I have that new layer of thinking, um, you know, whether it's, um, you know, how I'm voting or what I'm supporting in my community or the way that I'm speaking in the media. Um, I think just all of those things that's given a new perspective.
[00:34:43] Brianne Jenner: Um, you know, what would I want June seeing me doing, you know, what is the right example for her? So I, I think it's definitely influenced a lot of things. Um, I wish I had an, an answer to climate change. Good, good. One person could influence that, but now that's something that I think about and, um, you know, more so now in the next, next generation.
[00:35:05] Brianne Jenner: And there's so many issues like that. So I think it just kind of seeps into all of the decisions that I'm making in my interactions with my
[00:35:12] Rob Pintwala: community. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, that's, that's amazing. Um, do you, do you find that you're, And because you hold your professional life and like, uh, to such level of standards, like such a high level of standards, do you find that creeps into, like do you view being a parent as like a job?
[00:35:32] Rob Pintwala: Or are you just able to stay present at the moment and not put too much pressure on yourself self?
[00:35:40] Brianne Jenner: Yeah. I don't think I, um, have sort of that level of. Perfectionism when it comes to being a parent, just because it's, it's impossible, right? Like, we want to be the best for our kids and provide the best for our kids.
[00:35:53] Brianne Jenner: But, um, you know, I think all we can do is our, our best and, and be present with them and, um, you know, make them feel safe and loved. And so I try to focus on those big things. But yeah, there's, there's always that sort of, um, It's the same way that self-doubt creeps in when you're an athlete. Like there's that self-doubt like, oh, am I, am I doing enough?
[00:36:16] Brianne Jenner: You know, I pick up my phone and June's playing on the floor. I'm like, oh, should I be on my phone right now? You know, those things that are always, you know, weighing on you as a parent. So, um, I think I have the, a realistic expectation that, you know, you can't. You can't be perfect in anything you do, but, um, you know, try to be as, as present as possible and provide a good example.
[00:36:37] Brianne Jenner: Because what I've learned too is just kids pick up on everything that you do, every little behavior, um, you know, you see them mimicking it and you're like, where did they learn that? And it's like, well, from you, you know?
[00:36:50] Rob Pintwala: Yeah, yeah. No doubt. Um, I, I hate, I have the same guilt. I think all of our generation has the same guilt around using a device in front of a child.
[00:36:59] Rob Pintwala: Yeah. And like, yeah, it just always just feels so bad. And then you just, so addictive. Um, I'm, I'm, I'm curious, um, maybe just to kind of start to wrap things up, like, uh, you know, how do you, how do you spend your downtime? Like, how do you have fun? How do you bring kind of more joy into your life, um, besides your, your daughter, I'm sure.
[00:37:21] Rob Pintwala: Um, What sort of things do you take time for yourself?
[00:37:25] Brianne Jenner: I think just like spending, spending time outside, um, Is a, is a big one. It sounds so simple, but like, you know, that, that feeling when you're inside all day, maybe sitting at a desk and like, you just don't feel like you can relax. Um, so I think especially now that it's spring and summer's around the corner, um, you know, we try to get outside, go to the park, um, Just, just different things like that.
[00:37:51] Brianne Jenner: So that's, I think that's a big piece. And just trying to have time to have a, you know, adult conversations with, with my wife rather than just always talking about logistics and, and the kid. I think that's easy for married couples to fall into that. So, um, just time and space for, for those things. And we're, we're really close with our family, so we, we FaceTime family a lot.
[00:38:15] Brianne Jenner: Um, and, and just stay connected with, with people as much as we can.
[00:38:21] Rob Pintwala: Amazing. Amazing to hear. Um, Kim, do you have any final questions or comments?
[00:38:28] Kim Foster Yardley: I, I, nothing in particular comes to mind. I've just really enjoyed our conversation and I, I was just thinking about how. Incredibly well adjusted you aub, and like you're just such a level-headed, warm, thoughtful person and, and I just wanted to
[00:38:45] Brianne Jenner: thank you for spending this time with us.
[00:38:47] Brianne Jenner: Thank you. I, I feel like you're catching me on a good day, you know, but no, no one's, I, I think I've learned a lot from, you know, my time in high performance sport, but there's a lot to learn still. I think that's one of the biggest takeaways I've had is if you think you have it all figured out, then that's when you're in trouble.
[00:39:07] Brianne Jenner: So I think there's always more to learn. And I think conversations like this where you're, you're taking. Little tidbits from the people that you interact with and the people that you meet along the way. That's, that's a big piece of, of how you can learn. So, um, just chatting with you, I feel like I, I, you know, have some, some new, uh, takeaways.
[00:39:25] Brianne Jenner: For sure.
[00:39:26] Rob Pintwala: Thank you so much, Brian. Yeah. It was an absolute pleasure and definitely be following your career. And I hope to keep in touch in the future. So thanks for joining us and hope you have a great rest of your week.
[00:39:38] Brianne Jenner: Thanks, you too.
[00:39:51] Rob Pintwala: Thank you for listening to this episode of The Actualized Podcast. You can find the show notes for this episode as well as all other episodes at first session.com/podcast. If you like this podcast, please leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Thank you again, and we'll see you next time.
